Joe, Joe, Say It Ain't So
or
Why Joe Biden Scares Me to Death
I confess that, like most people in the Midwest, Joe Biden didn’t cross my radar too often over the years. I knew he was a plagiarist and sported a set of hair plugs my five-year old could have implanted and made look more natural. He spent a lot of time standing behind people when “important” announcements were made at microphones, trying hard not to be just another face in the crowd. He always seemed to be well-tanned in a Hollywood sort of way.
Over time, he became the one at the microphone. The teeth got straighter and grew blindingly white. The tan got darker. The plugs improved a little.
Gaffs that hadn’t gotten much attention before, or were considered Joe’s frankness grew a little more public and frequent. And we in the flyover states began to find him amusing.
As he gained tenure and was put on more prominent committees, one could literally see him puff up with self-importance. I can remember thinking, please, oh, please, don’t give this man any information that could harm our country. One drink and he’ll be blabbing it to the entire bar to prove he’s THE MAN.
When Obama tapped Joe, I was kind of curious, but after a
little while I got it. Joe huffed and puffed about how important he was
going to be. The new president would be consulting him at every turn, on
every topic. He was an expert on this; an expert on that.
That’s why Obama picked him. He needed his experience. His
gravitas. Even I knew that was nonsense. Obama was more full of himself than even Joe.
Joe, it turns out, was delusional. From the first Obama eye roll when Joe cracked one of his inappropriate jokes, I think we all know what Joe’s job is. Collect his paycheck and keep out of Obama’s way.
Joe Biden makes Dan Quayle look like a genius. With
one foot in his mouth all of the time, I don’t know how the man keeps his
balance. I can’t wait to see what his next gaff is.
Who’s going to get the personal tour so he can point out where Obama is taken in
case of an attack on the White House?
He’s gone from being a senator who was, I suppose, reasonably respected, to being a national joke.
Lucky for him, the press has been fairly kind and didn’t go after his children the way they did Sarah Palin’s. Not the daughter caught on video snorting cocaine or the son with the business ethics problems.
Oh, I’m sorry. Was I supposed to keep that quiet like the rest of the press? I forgot, he’s a Democrat, so we aren’t allowed to talk about his children, even though they’re adults. My bad.
The real bad news is that this vain, arrogant, gaff-prone piece of work is second in line to the presidency. A heartbeat away, as the Obama supporters liked to say about Sarah Palin during the campaign.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but Sarah’s looking pretty good to me right now.
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